Despite living with it for over two decades, I know very little about grief. I know that it confuses me, makes me angry, aggravates my pain, and informs some of my worst decisions. Living with a fear of failure and loss that puts the sword of Damocles to shame has lent my personality an intensity… Continue reading Ex-Enforcer
Tag: mental health
Living In A Mixed State
So, for those of you who don’t know, I have bipolar disorder. The chemical makeup of my brain is such that receptors for both higher emotional states (described as “mania” or “hypomania”) and lower ones (your classic “depression”) are susceptible to inexplicable, unconscious, and sometimes sudden change. In the past, people have described the disorder… Continue reading Living In A Mixed State
Return Of The Blue
I can’t even begin to fully articulate what the last few weeks have been like for me. Hospital. Near-eviction. Rapid, rabid mood swings. Disastrous car trouble. More car trouble. Moving. PAX. Yelling. Broken phones. Tears. And yet… Here I am. Whole. Unbowed. Determined. Unbent. Successful. Unbroken. If I can survive this, I can probably survive… Continue reading Return Of The Blue
500 Words on Porpoising
I’ve had the privilege of seeing porpoises in motion on whale watches, keeping pace with little tour boats as they make their way into the deeper waters. It’s a fascinating sight, seeing sleek gray bodies appear and then disappear beneath rapid waves. They whistle and cackle to one another as they go. It’s fun for… Continue reading 500 Words on Porpoising
From the Vault: Lies We Tell Ourselves
Since writing this post three years ago or so, I’ve discovered that the ‘little voice’ I refer to below comes from what I’ve come to call the ‘badbrain’. I will go into more detail later, perhaps in another place, but suffice it to say that, no matter what its motivation, the badbrain is a decidedly… Continue reading From the Vault: Lies We Tell Ourselves
From the Vault: The Disorder of Art
Once again behind the 8-ball and in need of finding my groove, let me take you back a year to a post that you may find helpful. Courtesy Floating Robes “Apropos of nothing,” asks one person, “what’s the name of the mental disorder/condition where a person thinks his or her art/work is never good enough?”… Continue reading From the Vault: The Disorder of Art
The Disorder of Art
Courtesy Floating Robes “Apropos of nothing,” asks one person, “what’s the name of the mental disorder/condition where a person thinks his or her art/work is never good enough?” The immediate response from the other is, “…being an artist?” It pretty much is a mental disorder, as it fucks with your brain almost constantly. It can… Continue reading The Disorder of Art
