The plan was that I’d just go away.
That I would cease to exist.
They would blow out the fire inside of me.
They’ve never seen fire like mine before.
This isn’t a campside fire.
This isn’t a flicked Bic.
This is not a yule log ready for chestnuts.
I don’t burn like those fires.
My fire comes from deep within.
Stoked by years of grief and anger.
Fed lies and tears and the ichor of lost love.
I burn like the core of the earth.
In that fire I am forged anew.
Tempered, beaten, squelched, and ignited,
Over and over, day after day, without reprieve.
I am someone you’ve never seen.
My kindness has been mistaken for weakness.
I’ve been cuckolded, manipulated, pushed to despair.
Voices within and voices without conspiring to end me.
Underestimating me is your biggest mistake.
I slay the voices within when they get too loud.
I shove cowards and abusers out of my life.
I fight until I bleed to keep faith with true friends.
I have not given up on happiness or love.
I will continue to burn like no other fire.
I will remain this terrifying beacon in the night.
Catch the scent of my flame on the wind.
And follow it.
If you dare.
